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drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
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