found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra