check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
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I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
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Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.