did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night