sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day