Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship