hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
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Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.