I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
