would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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