Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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