You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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