you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize