I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
