can we get nightvision for the apartment?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
