so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
