i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize