shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
