capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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