I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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