It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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