i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
