Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
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This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.