Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.

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  (972): If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works. http://tfl.nu/grey
  Replies (62) Good night (1602) Bad night (2918)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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  (602): dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese. http://tfl.nu/mk7p
  Replies (30) Good night (4359) Bad night (1069)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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  (571): I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life http://tfl.nu/ta8c
  Replies (5) Good night (3433) Bad night (1312)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.

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  (508): champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control. http://tfl.nu/zcsv
  Replies (5) Good night (3584) Bad night (530)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots

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  (908): how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots http://tfl.nu/lfl0
  Replies (17) Good night (4941) Bad night (1433)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.

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  (603): I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again. http://tfl.nu/0sqv
  Replies (23) Good night (1502) Bad night (4807)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.

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  (904): He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college. http://tfl.nu/3hcf
  Replies (19) Good night (2562) Bad night (6029)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?

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  (512): Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend? http://tfl.nu/hvyw
  Replies (11) Good night (5212) Bad night (1223)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.

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  (918): I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control. http://tfl.nu/enjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1069) Bad night (460)
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  (529): View more from

  Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.

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  (529): Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble. http://tfl.nu/he57
  Replies (10) Good night (632) Bad night (1557)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.

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  (425): It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably. http://tfl.nu/2r5e
  Replies (11) Good night (1404) Bad night (459)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.

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  (207): I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas. http://tfl.nu/wigg
  Replies (11) Good night (1386) Bad night (491)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.

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  (773): Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame. http://tfl.nu/s2ml
  Replies (3) Good night (980) Bad night (474)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.

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  (781): You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe. http://tfl.nu/3tsh
  Replies (3) Good night (436) Bad night (885)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?

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  (515): I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king? http://tfl.nu/4eun
  Replies (5) Good night (1241) Bad night (319)

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