I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so