Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(954): View more from Florida

It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

Fav 15 4718 1689
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.

Fav 6 2160 1778
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(336): View more from North Carolina

I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.

Fav 18 4051 1554
share tweet
(250): View more from British Columbia

I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.

Fav 15 6129 1133
share tweet
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(401): View more from Rhode Island

votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big

Fav 15 3078 1081
share tweet
(334): View more from Alabama

Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

Fav 1 1538 929
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry

Fav 5 1657 994
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.

Fav 0 624 422
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night

Fav 0 587 531
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT