Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.

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  (845): I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway. http://tfl.nu/8j56
  Replies (11) Good night (445) Bad night (1008) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc

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  (720): i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc http://tfl.nu/g2b1
  Replies (59) Good night (1992) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick

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  (317): i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick http://tfl.nu/0icp
  Replies (21) Good night (3549) Bad night (778) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating

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  (203): listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating http://tfl.nu/olru
  Replies (10) Good night (3562) Bad night (842) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.

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  (970): I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?" (763): Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka. http://tfl.nu/xe07
  Replies (10) Good night (3408) Bad night (704)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.

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  (860): He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter. http://tfl.nu/21c2
  Replies (18) Good night (4975) Bad night (1303) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.

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  (404): He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius. http://tfl.nu/ents
  Replies (11) Good night (708) Bad night (2849) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.

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  (614): Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie. http://tfl.nu/il2e
  Replies (15) Good night (3884) Bad night (1340) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  We talked him into tasing himself.

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  (903): We talked him into tasing himself. http://tfl.nu/jtjc
  Replies (12) Good night (2950) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  Crying in the liquor store is not a good look

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  (631): Crying in the liquor store is not a good look http://tfl.nu/r8cz
  Replies (4) Good night (581) Bad night (1299) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier

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  (828): In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier http://tfl.nu/71e3
  Replies (3) Good night (1071) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today

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  (906): Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today http://tfl.nu/n5yz
  Replies (7) Good night (390) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?

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  (314): Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard? http://tfl.nu/d7iq
  Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.

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  (619): Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop. http://tfl.nu/mw0u
  Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  When did angry sex become our thing?

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  (815): When did angry sex become our thing? http://tfl.nu/g3vv
  Replies (3) Good night (638) Bad night (178) Order T-Shirt

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