420 ftw
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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