you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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