oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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