he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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