did you get engaged???
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
