You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
