It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
