If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize