Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize