I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
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you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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