Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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