Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize