you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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