I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize