Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
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I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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