Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Randomize
Follow @tfln