ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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