Umm I'm too high to move.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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