so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.