I just cut my nipple shaving
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob