I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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