Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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