I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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