I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
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And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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