My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize