i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize