we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
