Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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