I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
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He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
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He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls