Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.