What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.