Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
