Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Send help, water and tortillas.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
