i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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