when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
