she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
