But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He uses pillows to masturbate.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
